Click here for original publication.
As a first-time voter of so-called Generation Y, I have been mulling over the potential presidential candidates a little early.
Ordinarily, I would not be pondering whom I will vote for another year, but considering the time the media devote to the possible candidates, you might think the election was just around the corner. Since there are no wars, no impeachment, no courtroom dramas, no sports playoffs, no economic turmoil, no deaths of popular icons, the election has become today’s filler topic.
So I’m checking out some of the potential candidates now, and I’ve found that none is saying anything new. Here’s my take on these candidates.
Could I vote for Al Gore?
Anyone who hails Bill Clinton as one of America’s greatest presidents immediately after his impeachment has questionable judgment.
In a turnabout, in an interview with Diane Sawyer on “20/20,” Gore repeatedly called Clinton’s actions “inexcusable” and claimed he has tarnished the presidency. He is a true politician who puts his finger in the air to see which way the wind is blowing.
Gore made a fool of himself when he said he invented the Internet; he’s the one who needs to be reinvented.
Could I vote for Bill Bradley?
He is Gore’s only competition in the race for “who can be more boring.”
Could I vote for George W. Bush?
Do those special-interest groups and private citizens who have contributed to a record $40 million even realize that he is not former President George Bush? His father has to give him a crash course in foreign policy because he knows nada, otherwise he’ll be an embarrassment to his own name. I think he invented the phrase “compassionate conservatism” to deflect from his lack of ability to articulate a position too early in the game.
Could I vote for Elizabeth Dole?
In all the years Dole has been in politics she has never explained what she stands for. So how can I know? Bob Dole, ex-presidential candidate, doesn’t even help her bid when he said she never defined her message. Instead he contributed his money to John McCain’s candidacy.
Could I vote for Dan Quayle?
George Bush’s vice president can’t seem to create a new image after the “potatoe” fiasco 10 years ago, and I still can’t take him seriously. Having recently appeared on “The Tonight Show” misspelling his name “Quayl,” he has joined the ranks of those who poked fun at him with his self-deprecating humor. But, this can quickly grow tiresome.
Could I vote for Steve Forbes?
Why should a man who owns an island in Fiji, a jet, a helicopter and a yacht be given the presidency? The centerpiece of his campaign, the flat-tax plan, only attracts the rich country-club crowd. Forbes should quit while he still has the good life.
Could I vote for John McCain?
A true patriot, he spent five years in a Hanoi POW camp. On the surface he seems pretty decent, but those extramarital affairs will come back to haunt us all if he wins the nomination, and we can forget about the issues.
Could I vote for Pat Buchanan or Lamar Alexander?
Since they are both toting the same scripts from the previous elections, they’re just more of the same old song and dance.
What we really need is a candidate who speaks to my generation in a common-sense manner without partisan politics. Out with these bums – let’s try something different. I’ll vote for the one who isn’t running.
Jesse Ventura, I’m writing you in!