Learning to Nurture Talent and Relational Intelligence
What if we approached all our interactions at work with twin purposes: to understand one another and to bring out the best in each other? This question has more meaning after my last summer sprint: The Complete Manager with Michael Bungay Stanier.
Based on Stanier’s expertise, a complete manager achieves these with equal focus on relationships, worthy goals, and coaching.
Relationships
The framework starts by creating and sharing an operating manual of your signature qualities and work style, then having others do the same. Some questions to answer:
What do people underappreciate about you? (Humor seems to be a common trait.)
What does it look like when you're stressed? (Be specific — like you talk very fast or you zone out.)
In good and frustrating relationships, what did you do and not do? What did they do and not do? (Give clear examples that others can understand.)
When are the best times for you to collaborate? (Again, be specific and say why.)
Sharing operating manuals demonstrates transparency and builds trust — two essential virtues in a productive relationship. As relationships are our pillars of meaning and success, one classmate says, “Your network is your net worth.”
Worthy Goals
With these relational building blocks, you can develop and execute worthy goals. These should excite you and your team, make an impact, challenge everyone, and be doable. They should be refined over time.
Coaching
Now that the foundation is set, it’s time for coaching, a practice that’s gained significant cachet in business and education. Coaching can seem airy-fairy, but Stanier makes it concrete. We need to draw out what is within a person by asking incisive questions, such as:
What are you thinking?
What else is on your mind?
What’s the real challenge here for you?
What do you want?
Stanier tells us to stay curious and resist the urge to give advice. Good advice.
I’m inspired by my fellow students — curious, self-aware, lifelong learners. They have diverse careers and reside around the world. Many have had horrible managers and vowed to do better by their direct reports. A few are twentysomethings thrust into their first manager roles and want to get it right. All of us see the need to focus on talent and relational development in the emerging world. I’m hopeful we can deliver.